


Small Comforts

by ShepGoesWhat



Series: Things Unnoticed, Words Unsaid [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Virmire, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 15:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShepGoesWhat/pseuds/ShepGoesWhat
Summary: Shepard deals with Kaidan's death after Virmire.





	Small Comforts

Shepard sat with her back to the lockers, staring at Kaidan’s now-empty station. She knew she needed to get up, get back to her cabin so her crew wouldn't see her shaken, but she just didn't have the strength. She kept replaying the mission on Virmire over and over in her head. Where had it gone wrong? What had made this mission different? This mission the one she’d failed to protect her crew? In the night cycle’s dim lighting, she could almost imagine Kaidan working at his terminal like usual. Almost. She closed her eyes, not wanting to face reality and fighting back her tears. _It's been an honor, Commander..._ She must have fallen asleep because she jerked awake with the feeling of being watched and flinched from the sharp pain in her neck. 

“You okay, Shepard?” Garrus asked. His mandibles flicked with worry as he looked her over.

“Fine. Need me for something?” Ignoring his worried look, Shepard got up, brushed off her pants, and stretched as if it was routine for her to sleep by her locker. She was grateful that it was Garrus that caught her unaware and not a crewman -- or worse, Ashley. She had spent the better part of the day comforting the distraught Gunnery Chief, assuring her that Kaidan's death wasn't her fault. Of course it wasn't Ashley's fault. _My call. He's dead because of me._ She didn't think she could bear repeating the conversation. 

But Garrus was a safe zone. She had noticed it yesterday. After everything that happened, her crew had needed her to be the fearless and resolute Commander Shepard, needed her comforting words and reassurances, and she had naturally stepped into the role. But not everyone wanted to talk about Virmire. Garrus had awkwardly ignored the subject, choosing to complain about C-Sec instead. She remembered being confused, thinking he missed the bureaucracy after seeing her fail, but that wasn't quite right. And it was a full minute before it dawned on her that Garrus was trying to comfort her. 

As if on cue, he gave a casual shrug. “I thought we could work on the Mako if you have some time. Turns out driving her over hordes of geth is only slightly better than over rocky mountains.” His posture was relaxed, but his eyes were wary. He looked like he was attempting to correct a tactical error in hopes of not getting flanked. 

She tossed him a small smile and said, “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” She rubbed her sore neck and gave one last look at Kaidan’s empty station before turning to follow Garrus to the elevator. Before she could second-guess herself, she grabbed one of his talons, causing him to pause. She twined her five fingers with his three, and leaned her forehead into his back. _It was an honor._ “I’m not okay,” she sighed. “But I will be. I have to be. Thanks.”

Garrus gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. “Anytime,” he rumbled. They spent the morning working on the Mako, talking of gentle nothings, and letting time numb the pain of loss.


End file.
